Sharing

Last night was the first rehearsal for the Vocal Arts Ensemble since Dan died. I walked up to our fearless leader who had lost his brother last year and I asked him if it ever gets better. He said "No" and gave me a hug. Most of the people there knew and had been sharing with me. I had been getting support and love from everyone.As I was trying to thank them it occurred to me that there was nothing more to say. It was in the music. It was in what we were there to do and I best shut up and sing.

He loved listening to VAE. He was astounded at the quality of our sound, our ability to articulate, our dedication to communicating with our audience. He would tell anyone who would listen about us and he would talk Gary's ear off about how great we were if Gary let him. (Gary is our fearless and talented leader).

So I listened to a CD of previous VAE recordings on my way home from practice making mental notes of what Dan would have liked and what he would not have liked. Religious or secular, they were anthems to him. At least for me.

He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. He couldn't play an instrument. [edit-2018--I had forgotten but was reminded shortly after I wrote this piece that Dan played bass guitar in a rock band. His playing genre was rock music. His musical collection was rock based but extremely eclectic.] But music moved his soul. It spoke his words when he had none. It gave him peace.

So I will keep singing. Because I can carry a tune, bucket or not.  It moves my soul and speaks my words. It gives me peace. But most of all, now, it is sharing something with Dan.