Big Cases

It's been a long couple of days. I had a real heavy case going in court that required a lot of work and concentration. On days like these Dan would always call from where ever he was just to make sure that I got my brain out of the particular case I was working on at the time. He would talk about the weather (complaints about snow, ice, rain were the general topics) or his daily drive or his load. When Kilisha was young he would talk about her dancing or Pat's long distance riding. He would talk about the most recent radio program he had heard or the latest book.

He just would talk to distract me. He didn't care that I didn't answer a lot. He knew how I worked. He knew I immersed myself in a case, especially the big ones.

He knew this because of Willie Harris.

The day that the jury, despite all my work and all my arguments, said that my client, Willie Harris, should die at the hands of the government of California , I left the state of California. My spouse put me on a plane to Montana.

I don't remember much about getting there.

I do remember sitting on Dan's porch in a rocking chair.

View from Dan's porch in Montana

I remember watching grass grow and horses eating that grass.

And I remember Dan being there.

And I remember that after about a week I could actually form sentences.

I remember telling him what I felt when the words "We recommend Death" washed over me. He was the first person to listen to me.

He really is the only one that will ever know what I have locked inside about those cases.

He also knows why I still do it.